I'm not sure what possessed me to watch Mr Stitch on the weekend.  But there I am sitting on the couch wondering how best to waste 90 minutes of my life and the next thing you know Wil Wheaton appears looking like he's taken his patchwork quilt hobby one step too far.  It's all a bit strange, and not half interesting.  Well, to begin with anyway.

Mr Stitch is basically the re-telling of the Frankenstein story (or as the smart people put it, the Prometheus myth), with the 'monster' in this instance (that would be Wil Wheaton) being fashioned from the body parts of 44 men and 44 woman.  The idea is to give this newly created human a sense of balance and to remove any idea of a dominant gender.  It's an interesting concept and makes for some bizarre make-up and prosthetics when patient 3, or Lazarus as he calls himself, is finally unburdened of his bandages.  The reason for Lazarus' creation isn't made clear in the first half of the film (and I won't spoil it here... not that it's much of a spoiler).  Rather, for the first 45 minutes, Lazarus is educated and trained by Rutger Hauer's character (and Lazarus' creator) Doctor Rue Wakeman.

Although Rutger plays the character of Wakeman with the subtlety of a Mariah Carey concert, there's some interesting stuff here about personal identity as Lazarus struggles to contend with the buried memories of the 88 people he's been formed out of.  In fact the movie is filled with interesting but half baked ideas.  There's a conversation about the fictionality of the Bible (the inspiration for patient 3's name) that could have been fascinating if developed.  And there's also this idea, that's hinted at but goes nowhere, that Lazarus is being controlled by some other force. 

Wil Wheaton, on his blog, blames a good deal of the problems with the film with the performance of Rutger Hauer.  Apparently Rutger was a complete arse on set, not willing to take stage directions from Avary (who also directed the film).  As a result, Wakeman comes off as a wide-eyed nutball, which maybe suits the whole Dr Frankenstein motif, but kills any of the subtext that the script might have had.  Things got so bad with Rutger that Avary had to fire him off the set.  And it's noticeable.  He goes from being the main character - with Wheaton - to disappearing without a trace.  And as a result Avary was forced to re-write huge chunks of the script.  And my God does it show.

Actually... I should point out that Avary's direction, until the film turns to all shades of shit, is actually quite neat to begin with.  The first forty five minutes of the film takes place, for the most part, in a single white room.  The lighting is bright with the only dash of colour being Lazarus and the black couch he sleeps on.  Watching the first half, the slow pacing, the starkness of the environment, doesn't prepare you for the utter garbage your about to experience.  It's like a switch has been flicked, because the last half of the film (and I'll keep the spoilers to a minimum) become this crazy, insane mix of car chases (and once incredibly bad moment where a car is destroyed and a cartoon skull forms within the smoke), a love story and a megalomaniacal attempt to take over the world.  The last ten minutes (where the true villain of the piece is revealed... not that the film actually needed a villain, but there you go) is not only bonkers to the extreme, but has acting so bad that it makes Rutger Hauer's performance look Oscar worthy.  Oh, and the comedy cops bit is risible.  Again, I know Avary was forced to re-write the script.  But it's as if he sat down and said, "fuck this for a game of cards" and wrote any old shit he could think of. 

Roger Avary, at the time, was coming off a number of major accolades including an Oscar for Pulp Fiction and critical acclaim for Killing Zoe.  In making Mr Stitch there's no doubt that Avary is trying to be a bit ambitious.  Most of the film takes place in one room.  The dialogue is all very philosophical, even when it's been cackled by Rutger Hauer.  And for at least the first forty five minutes or so you can't help but get caught up in the narrative, especially when Wheaton starts to experience the flashbacks of the people he's made out of.

But whether it was because of Rutger's naughtiness on set, or Avary having no idea how to end the movie, the film quickly becomes a pile of poo.  And it's sad, because Nia Peeples and Wil Wheaton and Ron Perlman (in the very few scenes he's in) are trying to make the most of what their given.  Like I say, there's some good stuff in those early scenes.

Roger Avary's career didn't end with Mr Stitch.  He went on to do other stuff like The Rules of Attraction and Beowulf.  That said, I'm pretty sure he's pleased as punch that Mr Stitch has faded into obscurity.  I think if he had it his way, the whole film would be taken out and politely shot in the head.  And maybe Rutger Hauer with it.